I love being married to Wes. I love living on our own. Having my own home to manage. Saving our own money. Planning our own days. But, to be perfectly honest, I don't know how most people do it. Working full time, preparing meals, and keeping up with the laundry. They seem to fill up the entire day. Not to mention accomplishing anything else.
I have found myself struggling with this over the last few months. Discouraged that I can't seem to keep up with the basics and wondering what I'm doing wrong. I began to pray about it, and here is what I have been learning.
I tend towards being a perfectionist, and wannabe overachiever. When setting goals, I don't settle for striving to be more organized, for example. My goal looks like this--Keep the house spotless and dusted and have not one crumb in the sink or sock in the hamper.at.all.times.
Then, when that doesn't happen, I go to bed flustered, and dream about mountains of crumbs, socks and dusty dressers.
When I think this way, I am pessimistic and unthankful. I find myself dissatisfied. I totally miss the little things because in my mind I require it all done. perfectly.
I thought, ambition is a good thing. But, in my case, it has been a desire for control. I have forgotten the purpose of each day. To glorify the Lord. He gives us each day. And those things that come up unexpectedly and "get in the way", are placed there by Him. That conversation that pushed dinner back, or cold that put me to bed early, was in God's plan for today. I decided it was important to eat dinner by 6:00, but He had encouraging a friend at the top of the list. I had a night of laundry planned, He knew forcing me to rest would remind me that I need Him.
I am not in control. God is. Clinging to my agenda of how I will be a great Christian wife today, does not bring glory to my Savior. So, I decided to take one thing at a time. Just one thing. The single thing, the Lord allows me to accomplish, I will thank Him for.
When I do that, all the sudden I can think of many valuable things that were accomplished today. And life is sweet. I can do another one of these days. I can enjoy His rest.
Of course I still want to be a good steward of my time and home. But, when my focus is Him, and I become a follower, rather than a controller, my view of accomplishment is much simpler. I am thankful to be a child of the King, who loves me, who's plan for me is perfect. My value is not in what I do, but in the work my Savior has done.
I love this quote by Amy Carmichael. This perspective changes everything.
Blessed are the single hearted for they shall enjoy much peace.
If you refuse to be hurried or pressed, if you stay your soul on God...
Nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace.
In that stillness. you will know what His will is.
Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
1 Corinthians 10:31
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
What were your struggles when you became a wife or moved out on your own for the first time? I'd love to hear what God taught you through it!